Area hero puts a link for that in the chat

Online participants were astounded last Tuesday morning when, midway though a mandatory HR presentation about the new telework policy enacted for U.S. Forest Service (USFS) employees working in the Shenandoah National Forest, co-presenter Davis Blough provided a link to the official policy in the chat box. 

Normally reserved for quips, long-winded anecdotes, smiley emojis, and questions asking about content already covered at the top of the meeting with the requisite apology for being late, Blough stunned participants when he cut and pasted the web location of the HR telework policy into the chat.  Meeting attendees paused in collective silence in astonishment at Blough's resourcefulness and bravery, and it was several minutes before any new content was added.

Meanwhile, USFS Human Resources Management Specialist and main presenter Jerry Schmitz, unaware of Blough's heroic feat, proceeded to the next slide covering a detailed review of Forest Service policy on taking home mouse pads during telework days.  

"I was really shocked" admitted Shari Westin, a Resource Analyst for the Forest. "I was sort of half listening to the latest of these required Model Workplace meetings while playing yahtzee on my phone when I noticed that the entire chat window had been filled with a link to something.  I clicked it and it took me to this internal document or something from HQ.  A few minutes later I realized it was, apparently, our official telework and home office rules."  Clearly moved, Westin paused to collect her thoughts and then added, "I didn't even know this document existed."

Blough was unavailable for comment.  Despite his little green dot remaining on, participants did not receive addition contributions from Blough during the remaining 40 minutes of the meeting.  Said Schmitz, "...and once you get supervisor and IT approval you can check out one mouse pad per person from the storage closet in Sperryville.  As we move towards supporting the Secretary's vision for building model workplaces, we wanted you to know that we have your back while you telework!  Mousepad checkout periods may not exceed 30 days without additional approval signatures on the associated SF2384, in boxes 8 to 10.  Please make sure these signatures are not the same approvers as on your previous form and that you are using the most recent version of the SF2384, which can be found on our sharepoint."

As of this printing, 14 of the 149 online meeting attendees had clicked Blough's daring link, and two had bookmarked the site for future reference.

"I have to say it was pretty special," declared Steve Lattimore, a Labor Specialist for the Forest and widely-respected for dropping hilarious memes into chats during online trainings as well as other antics. "To so quickly share that telework pdf.  I dunno...  I mean, pretty darn courageous, right?  Wow, just wow.  And now everyone has it!"  

"I wonder where Dave took that background picture," Lattimore added thoughtfully.

Your b is a d. Fix it, asshole.

Is that supposed to be a q?  Yours is a g.  Let me show you the difference.  Yes.  Because they're different letters.  And you need a u after the q.  Yes, every time.

Ok, let me take a look.  Ok..  hmm..  um..  no, it shouldn't have an apostrophe.  Why?  Well, words that are apostrophe s indicate that something is, so..  it is marker?  No.  And fix the there in the next line.  Why?  Because it's wrong.  You want the possessive.  Yes.  Different spelling.  To indicate possessiveness.  Yes.  Fix it, please, then come show me your corrected paragraph.

How about you?  Let me see.  You missed some capitals.  The first word of every sentence.  Remember?  Yes, every time.  I'm sorry, but yes I'm going to mark that wrong.  Yes!  You need to capitalize!  Where?  In the first line!  And you need spaces after your periods.  And then the next word is capitalized.  After the period.  Because it's a new sentence.  How are you not understanding this?  Make it a capital G.

Your hero is your dady?  Seriously?  You don't have anyone else you can think of?  Sure, fine.  But it has two d's.

I know they sound the same, but cherry is with a ch and tree is with a tr.  No, it's t r e e.  Let me see the rest. .. Ok, not bad but work on some spelling.  I know it's a hard one, but remember what we talked about with words that end in o u l d.  So, it's s h o u l d.  Not s h u d.  And friend is another hard one.  And don't forget the silent e- you're missing that a few times.  Like here.  It would be pronounced rop.  Make the o say its name.  With the silent e.  No, that would be wip.  You need the e.  Yes!  Here's a dictionary so you can check on these yourself.  What?  Because they're alphabetical.  You turn the book to the page for that letter series.  Because it's alphabetical!  So for that you'd start with s, and then t, and so on and you'd find it on that page.  Because it's arranged by letter!  How is this complicated?  Just try!  This is a kid's dictionary!  Yes, you'll be able to do it, and pay attention to the silent e.  Because otherwise it's the wrong word!  It's not strip.  No!  Wait, what?  What are you writing, anyway?

Ok, how about you.  Let's start by putting your name at the top.  Yes, every time.  Slowly, please, so I can read it.  With an a before the e.  Like I reminded you yesterday.  Yes.  It's your name!  How are you still getting this wrong?  M i c h a e l.  Yes!  Like we talked about yesterday!  Yes, put it at the top of each page.  Because you can't spell your own damn name!  

F r o m.  Not u.  Because it's a sight word!  We spent two weeks on this!  Last week and the week before!  

What is this?  What's nachur?  Oh, you mean n a t u r e?  Yes, go ahead and fix that.  Because it's wrong.  N a t u r e.  No ch.  Nope.  I get it, but no.  Because it's wrong.  Because it's wrong!  It's wrong!  Why are you arguing with me.  It's spelled wrong!  And add an a to goat.  Because otherwise it's got!  Does that really look right to you?  Go sit in the corner.  I don't know.  Awhile.

You b is a d.  Fix it, asshole.