Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Man gets tattoo of clock on face, spends rest of day using own tongue as minute hand

[Jacksonville, FL]  Area resident Jake "Red Bull" Harrison impressed both friends and colleagues today when he returned from the T-Spot Tattoo Parlor with a picture of a clock imprinted onto his face.  Though he appeared to find it difficult to talk, those around him marveled at his ability to encircle his face with his tongue like a perfect little pink minute hand.

By several hours later, a small bemused crowd of onlookers had gathered to watch the marvelous revolutions of Harrison's tongue, around and around his face.  They cheered him on and goaded him into ever more amazing stunts, including mimicry of a skipping second hand, buzzing as his tongue passed the tattooed "8" near his jawbone as imitation of an alarm clock, and using his tonsils as a cuckoo bird.

He even attempted to simultaneously rotate his tongue around his face-clock while juggling hatchets and singing the Beatles' classic "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds", though the effect was, perhaps, a bit less awe-inspiring than Harrison had hoped... "Bluestein sky talking to Louise and able to come shoot little island Lucian sky is that what you want and need and can you leave that Dolla..." rambled Harrison before being accidentally struck on the cheek by one of the spinning hatchets, causing blood to stream from two o'clock to five-thirty.