Despite his protestations that the "big surprise" was in fact a sanctioned, time-honored event, 52 year old Memphis resident Harold (Harry) Greenblat was arrested by local police Wednesday afternoon and taken into custody after reportedly dropping his pants in the middle of Morris Park and trying to blow up a blue balloon with his ass.
"It's a boy!" he exclaimed gleefully to the horrified onlookers, according to regretful eyewitness reports.
Greenblat then allegedly began covering his penis in pastel blue silly string and screaming the lyrics to "Blue Moon" until police were finally able to restrain him when he tripped while reaching for a tray of uneaten cupcakes. He was escorted from the scene in handcuffs.
According to the police report, the arresting officers won the "What's in the Nappy?" game later on that day after Greenblat shat in the backseat of their squad car.
"Damn, that was repulsive," offered one of the officers, "but I'll be damned if it didn't have a slightly gray-cobalt, almost ocean-like hue when held up in the sunlight. That guy really pulled out all the stops."
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